Between ”sorry”s

I was once asked by an American "why do the Japanese not apologize when they should?" He had just started his stay in Japan a couple of months before. It was rather a shocking remark for me because I had long thought the other way around. They are the ones who do not apologize when they should! I gradually notice that there is a gap in Japanese and American expectations when it comes to saying ごめんね.
He was referring to a particular case in which he was bumped into rather accidentally by a young Japanese guy who seemed to rush to a train. He told me it was only one of the enormous examples. "NOBODY", he stressed, "NOBODY ever apologized when they bumped into me or pushed me hard in a crowd!"
When I think about it, I noticed in the US, more people saying "I'm sorry" than I expect, when I was walking through a crowd of spectators of a street performance or at a cashier of a supermarket. I figured that Western people in general, Americans in particular needed so much personal space. So if someone else "intrude" their space they naturally expect "sorry" from him or her. The Japanese live in so small a country for so many people, we gradually have learned to save our "sorry".
However, for me it feels otherwise. Suppose you made an appointment to meet a person, your friend, doctor or whoever, and on your way your train stopped for some time by a fatal accident or whatever, resulting in being late for the appointed time by, say, 30 minutes. You forgot to bring your cellphone with you to tell the delay to the person. What would you say to him / her, first thing when you meet them? Most likely you would say "Sorry to have kept you waiting." even if it is not your fault. But if you were American, you would rather focus on your trouble of the train accident and forget about the person's feelings you kept waiting. You would not feel like saying "sorry".
When I went to Hawaii for a conference 20 years ago or so, flying from San Francisco, my bag did not appear on a carousel at Honolulu airport. I got upset and rushed to a baggage claim office where I told an airline clerk my bag was missing. She asked me many questions about my bag and told me to fill out a form. I did exactly as she said, during which she hinted something to the effect that the only thing I could do was to wait their call at my hotel. It was a big problem for me because I was going to make a presentation at the conference using the presentation slides which were in the lost bag. I tried desperately to convey this impending situation to her. But.... she made me clear this time that I must only wait. What made me more amazed rather than angry was that throughout the whole process no "sorry" ever came from her.
10 years ago, when we went on a family trip to Ireland and came back to Narita flying with KLM, our bags were lost. We went to the baggage claim counter where a Japanese clerk was waiting. On the first eye-contact with me, before I spoke anything, she said "I'm sorry." I told her our problem and she explained what I should do to get my bag back. She started every phrase she said with "I'm sorry, but... or 大変申し訳ありませんが..." and ended with "大変申し訳ありません”.
In Japan when someone is troubled by anything related to you, whether or not it is your fault, you must show your concern by saying "sorry". Everybody expects "sorry" when they are troubled and saying it makes everything OK or let the water carry it away (水に流す^^)
In the US, it seems to me that people say or do not say "sorry" rather depending on their mood. When they are in a good mood, they are willing to apologize, even if it was not his /her personal fault. But when they are tired from work or stepped on a dog's dropping in the morning, they are not as likely to be thinking about how the other person feels. Furthermore, in such a case like baggage trouble, people in the US tend to think that it is not their fault, even if it was the fault of the company they are working for. The problem was caused by some other people and not by themselves. They seem to feel unnecessary to apologize or they think that an apology could make the matter worse by admitting their fault. But in Japan we think an apology could make the matter better by making the other person's feelings better.
I personally prefer the Japanese way. Actually there are many Americans who feel better to be apologized after staying in Japan for some time. It seems that they begin to appreciate this kind of politeness that Americans do not have.
When we go to the US, we feel impoliteness in the void of "sorry". But it may be just one of the vast differences between the two countries. Just enjoy them.