Loneliness

The homeless man feeding pigeons must have bought カール only for pigeons sake because it is not something you can always find as garbage. I have no idea how he earns his living. But it was obviously not easy for him to buy food for someone other than himself. Then why was he doing this?
When I was working in Kawasaki, there was a small park across a street from our office. A homeless man lived in the park. During lucnch break I sometimes took a walk in the park. The park was small and somewhat deserted partly because of him I guress. He was feeding cats. One day I spoke to him.
"They are so cute."
"Yes, 猫はかわいいよ。"he laughed loudly somehow.
"They seem to like you."
"ああ。餌やってるときだけね。こいつら頭良いからどうやったら俺から餌もらえるか知ってんだ"
"How do they do it?"
"甘えるんだよ。"
"So why do you give them food when they make up to you?"
Silence.
"何でかなぁ"
I had talked with him several times since then. He was from Hokkaido. To think back, it might have been a strange scene when a man wearing a tie sat beside a homeless man at the back of a public toilet talking with each other (he lived there because it was near water tap). He came to Tokyo in one winter, the slack season on the farm. One day, as he was working in a construction site, he unnexpectedly wanted to throw everything away. His wife, his child, his farm and his house. Everything looked troublesome to him. When he did, he felt like being in a heaven. He felt as if he got perfect freedom.
I asked.
"Do you want sometimes to go back home and see your family?"
"あんまり。家族なんてめんどくさいよ。一人なら気楽だよ。"
he said, giving cats food.